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The first day with au pair

The first days with the au pair

What will bring the first days with your au pair?

Information and advice about the first days with au pair for host families you will find here.

The au pair has arrived – and now?

Your au pair has finally arrived! You have picked the au pair up, driven home and welcomed the au pair as a new family member. At this point, many host families get nervous and a million thoughts go through their minds.

The most nagging question is probably: what can we expect?

The first days with an au pair

The first few days  are usually the hardest. As a host family, you have to get used to the au pair and to the new situation in general. The first few days with an au pair might feel a little strange.

But don’t worry! The more you  talk with the au pair , the faster you will get to know and trust each other. Also don’t forget that the au pair has a lot of information to process: a new language, different customs and of course the new responsibilities that come with an au pair job. Be patient and child! The au pair is still young and probably away from home for the first time.

Some advice for the first few days with the au pair

You will need a lot of patience  during the first days . If both host parents work, it might be a good idea to take some time off so you can get to know the au pair better and help the au pair get settled in. Give yourself and your children time to realize that your family situation has changed .

We recommend spending as much time together as possible during the first few days. The time and energy you put into these first days will help you all throughout the  entire stay of the au pair.

Right after the au pair arrives

When your  au pair arrives,  it is enough to introduce them to your whole family, show them your house, their room, and explain the most important things about the house. Ask the au pair if they are hungry and offer to eat something together. Your au pair might want to take a shower. Relax and give your au pair some time to get settled in. Find out if the au pair wants to call home to talk to friends and family and let them know they arrived.

Because of the long trip, the au pair is probably tired, and after you eat together, the au pair might want to go to sleep.


The first day with your au pair

The first day with the au pair starts with breakfast. Try to have a family breakfast together with the au pair. Keep in mind that eating together is a great opportunity to talk and to get to know each other. After breakfast, go for a walk to show the au pair your neighborhood or your town. Show your au pair the most important sights in your area. Let your children show the au pair where they go to kindergarten or to school. Walk past the houses of your children’s friends.

Talk to your au pair as much as possible, even if there are some language difficulties. Talk about the au pair’s country and about the things the au pair likes to do. Let the au pair talk as much as possible and be respectful by showing that you don’t expect perfect grammar and are just happy to communicate. This will give the au pair more confidence and make it easier to talk. On the first day, you could also go shopping with the au pair and show the au pair the closest supermarket.

Ask your au pair about food! Are their certain products that are important for the au pair? If so, you could buy them right away. Also, comfort food will make the au pair feel more comfortable at your house.

The second day with your au pair

On the second day , you could show the au pair your city a little bit more. Show the au pair a second time where your children go to kindergarten or school, and the places where they like to play. Think about activities that might be interesting for the au pair such as sports or clubs.

If your doctor’s office is in the same town, you should show it to your au pair. It is important for your au pair to know where it is in case there is ever an emergency.


On the second day  you could also take care of some paperwork for your au pair. If required, go with them to the registration office or, if necessary, to the immigration office. Tell your au pair to bring important documents like their passport, visa, au pair contract and health certificate.

A bank account for your au pair

Once your  au pair is registered , you could also go and open up a bank account for them. This is the account into which you will pay the pocket money for the au pair. It is important to put the pocket money into a bank account if you want to deduct the money from your taxes.  

Your au pair will need the following documents to open a bank account: passport, proof of registration and maybe a copy of the au pair contract.

There are many banks where your au pair can open up a free bank account. Find out where exactly, and help your au pair with it. This is also a good opportunity to ask your au pair how you should transfer the money: weekly, every two weeks or monthly.

After the third day

You have made it through the  first days with the new au pair.  The third day is usually the day when everybody starts feeling comfortable with each other. By then, you should have gotten to know each other a little bit better and you can start to build a trusting relationship.

Try to have a friendly relationship with the au pair, giving each other enough space. Find a healthy balance between spending time together and giving each other space. Be patient, open-minded, tolerant and flexible. With this in mind, a great au pair adventure lies ahead of you!